Wednesday, July 21, 2010

I'm here.

A good solid piece of steel is better than some punched-out piece-of-shit any day of the week.

I’m attacking low and fast. There’s no backing off or backing down. You just get in there and get doing some business. That’s my take on things. You may be able to do it with a piece of glass – maybe a piece of wood – but glass is for looking through, and wood is good for fires and furniture.

So shut up while I’m talking.

What you need for the job is not some cheesy art-bullshit. If it gleams, it reflects. Reflections are good for mirrors – and mirrors are used to signal search aircraft – and for revealing your location, if you’re a jackass. Sometimes, if the event requires a slinky dress and a polished look, you can use your mirror for make-up. But your knife you won’t be able to see shit in – because it’s black as sin.

For this first foray into the blogosphere, I would like to express my thanks to all department store commandos and mall-emporium geeks, for supporting the paychecks of so many hard-working folks by buying knives that suck.

And may I just also pass on a big single-finger salute to those prissy, prancing babies at so many of these tactical snob websites. Hey! Jackass! Yeah, you – the one playing with his multi-tool. Put the POS down, and step back. Show me your damned palms.

Yeah. That’s what I’m talking about. You see, I have learned from some tough suckers – and being the only girl in a whole room of tough suckers for many years, I’ve learned that form follows function. You don’t get all serious with a Leatherman, ratbrain. You get something with some serious lines to it – kind of like myself: Curvy, but sharp; well-made, but damned dangerous.

That’s why I’m the poster-child for D&S Tactical – because the gear is practical. Even when it’s pretty, it’s practical. No, don’t go all misty-eyed on me because you screwed up and bought some damned toy from the sporting-goods section. Pull your head out and breathe.

There. Isn’t that better?

Now, get ready for an education. Because it’s coming. In the upcoming weeks I am going to talk to you about all things tactical – from blades to boots, baby. I have some new gear coming in the mail, which I’m going to try out. And when I test stuff, you can bet on one thing:

It’s solid – and that’s that.

-D&S Girl

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